just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.