But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
