I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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