I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
