I'm sorry my penis didn't work
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize