I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
