i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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