That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize