If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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