hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
