His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
