Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize