I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize