I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just pee around me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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