and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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