So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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