If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
