It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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