She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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