Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
did i just pee glitter
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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