Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
