haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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