Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
