He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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