Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
