it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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