I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
