Can Purell be used as lube?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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