I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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