im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
