I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
