So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
