In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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