this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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