I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize