OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The best revenge is premature balding
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
