Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
