so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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