He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
