I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
