you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
