Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
