Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize