she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
