When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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