she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
