I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
do nipples grow back?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
