garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
