PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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