dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
