I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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