It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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