He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I lost the right to judge tonight
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
