I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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