My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dick very happy bro
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
