I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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